Friday, May 25, 2012

Blind-folded drama

Being blind-folded is the worst. Especially when you’re involved in some sort of skit or illustration, cause you have no idea what is coming at you! It kinda goes hand-in-hand with someone insisting you close your eyes and open your mouth. Seriously?! That’s crazy talk! I don’t know about you, but in those situations I am not feeling comfortable or relaxed regardless of hearing, “It’s ok, you can trust me!” Something I super don’t enjoy is when I’m blindfolded and being led somewhere. I mean, I trip enough with my eyes open! Blindfolding me and expecting me to not end up on my face just isn’t the brightest idea in the world.

 I smile at the memory of my little sister preparing a surprise for me and wanting to lead me to it with my eyes closed.  I closed my eyes tight (no peeking!) and allowed her to grab both my hands and pull me forward. I slid one foot in front of the other just to ensure I remained upright! We ended up having a lovely picnic and I sure wish I could give her a big hug right now! 

Today I have that idea in my head. The position of being blindfolded, yet being pulled or led forward. Personally, when I’ve been there and the other person is pulling me along faster than I’m comfortable with, I’ll lean way back so I can have time to prepare for whatever is coming! I’ll dig my heels in just a bit so I’m not as nervous about the whole not-seeing thing! 

I feel like I’m doing that with God. He’s trying to lead me forward yet I’m so scared because I can’t see. The horrible thing is, I can’t see, but I can hear. I can worry. I can feel. There are so many doubt and fears clamoring for my attention that sometimes the voice of His promises are drowned out. There are so many loose ends and unexplained trials that I lose sight of Him and worry clouds my eyes. Reality can be choked by feelings, especially when family is so far away and answers aren't forthcoming!

This tension between Him leading forward and me pulling back has to end. Either I have to stop resisting or He’s going to have to stop directing! Put like that, the “what should I do?!” question seems comically clear. Ps. 147:5 reads, “Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite.” God is great, big, strong! He’s over everything and seems extra GREAT in light of my itty bitty smallness! Not only is He great, but He has great power! Whatever His great mind wants for my little life, He has the great power to carry out! The last part of the verse really smacked me upside the head. Who do I think I am to rest in my judgment and act on my fears when my understanding is so miniscule?! His understanding is infinite! No limit, no end or start… infinite. Immeasurably great.

As kids we would always try to one-up each other in everything. A common conversation would be, “Hey I can eat two hotdogs!” “Oh really? Well I can eat twelve hot dogs!” “Oh yeah?! Well, I can eat one thousand plus infinity hot dogs!” Whoever used the “infinity” line first always one. I mean, how do you beat infinity? So, here I am… such a silly human. Blind fold still in place and I still don’t see where I’m headed. Know what? It’s ok because the One holding my hand is great, has great power, oh, and get this… He’s infinite. He’s already been there. It’s all good.

1 comment:

  1. Silly humans....yes we are. That's why the Bible so often refers to us as "sheep." We have a faithful Shepherd though & I KNOW He will guide you through this period of waiting.

    Psalm 37
    2 Timothy 2:8-13
    Hebrews 12

    Praying for you!!

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