A Tuesday Afternoon Angel

Sometimes I am at a loss for words. Today, once again, I found myself plunged into overwhelming stillness at the way God works. 

I’m not very strong and that is no secret. I’m no superhero; I am very weak. I do not pretend to be anything but. Yet I find myself in a position where I feel I must be strong, I must demonstrate superhero qualities, and I must work to be as un-weak as possible. I’m going to teach in a Christian school by faith. Literally, I have no idea how the Lord will provide! My faith has been tested sorely. I am three months out and I’ve only had two people come alongside me and offer their support. If God doesn’t provide, I can’t make it! 

Vicious doubts, like angry bees, swarmed and caused me to fear. I cried out to my God, “Please! Show me! Please prove to me that You love me enough to care for me! You’ve called me, am I now to be left alone?” Days went by. I could feel my spirit churning and I knew the unsettled feeling of relying on myself. 

Walking parallel to my inner struggle was the outward frustrations of an iPod that was malfunctioning and the dilemma of finding a phone to use in Peru. (trivial disturbances in comparison to my brother's upcoming surgery, trying to find tickets back to Peru, etc) My dad and I were gathering information about different options, knowing full well that the money wasn’t readily available to replace an iPod or buy a phone. 

Consider all thus far as the introduction to the short story I will now share. Today, my dad and I met with a man named Tim in a commercial parking lot. Tim asked questions about our ministry, for my dad mentioned we were missionaries. After a few moments, he told us that God had instructed him to give us an iPhone. He also said God wanted us to trust Him with our finances. Tim asked if he could pray for us. I cried as he asked God to strengthen our hearts and to heal Abbey of her autoimmune disease. We never once told him about Abbey’s illness. I have no doubt he was God-sent.

My friends, God can be trusted. Though this might seem silly to you, it was the miracle my heart has been thirsting for. Though I’m weak, He loves me. Everything I’ve ever longed to see is written on His face.

Forget Not

“Forget not at all His benefits”

The girl is young, but the determination on her face speaks of a heart of strength. With force, she drives her plastic shovel into the sand and scoop by scoop creates a hollow cavity. The sand mound grows as the clock ticks along. Her efforts are soon rewarded and she jumps to her feet, rejoicing, “I’ve found water! I’ve found water!”

How alike we are to this child. We enjoy the Water of Life only as our efforts permit. We sweat in the sun, ache with the labor, and are furious with the sand that topples back into our hard-earned hole. We say we must earn the benefits. Sure, we’re saved but why else did He give us a shovel and sand? We labor for our peace. Fight for perfection. Ache to know joy. We long without truly being satisfied. 

Silly children we are! If we would just lay our plastic shovel down and turn our focus away from our efforts, we would find the ocean rolling behind us. Deep, without measure, powerful and beautiful, the ocean calls. Why dabble in our measly endeavors when this great body of water is available to us? In our small "pond" we might dip our toes in the water; in His ocean, we can drench ourselves completely! He gives us all His benefits. (Not just the ones you feel you’ve earned!) Let’s not forget them!

No real reason

Story book colors. Shivers in chilly wind. Delightful crunchable leaves. Smiles accompanying the bonfire. Fall. It sure is a wonderful time of year! Observing this season has been refreshing. The leaves have really stuck with me. I mean, how can you ignore them? The bright colors demand an audience. Their graceful dance through the wind  is mesmerizing. The light brown pile they form simply begs for young feet to scatter them with joy. The leaves are wonderful.

In our day of budget trimming and program cutting, I'm afraid that leaves wouldn't have a promising future. We cannot eat them, we cannot use them to make clothing, and once plucked from the tree they do not retain their color. Especially in fall, it would seems that leaves are frivolously used! They change into a breath-taking assortment of colors only for a short time! Then they fall on the ground... and are done! We don't see anyone rushing around to recycle leaves. God does not re-use them come spring time! Yes, at the end of my deep thoughts and analyzing process, leaves are not vital to humanity.

Aren't you glad I don't run this universe! It would be a very practical, dull, and simple place for sure! Our God is lavish with His love, extravagant with His beauty, and endless with His mercy. In some ways, we should do away with the practical approach to life! Must we all have a solid reason to show love to the cashier? Must we have an outline as to why we should become involved in missions? Must we have concrete proof that God is calling us to forgive that person? Are there some things we could simply  because we are created by God... without any real reason? I do think I would like to have a life that is a little more... leafy!