Growing up as the eldest child in a large family, one
quickly learns that delegation is the key to success. Though often misinterpreted
as being “bossy”, dominating the skill of delegation is an art that requires
much practice. (and I personally feel is not appropriately appreciated!!) :) When we were younger, my mom would often leave the room with the words, “I want
this room clean before I get back.” Translation: Sarah better tell all the
siblings what to do or else nothing would get done! When it came to the tasks
of throwing blocks in a bucket or picking up stuffed animals, I could rest easy
that the job could be done by Andrew or Abbey. However, when it came to the
finer tasks of organizing the books according to height or sweeping every
corner of the room, I found that if I wanted it done right I had to do it
myself! (note to self: never trust Justin with any tasks that require organization)
It’s easier to trust ourselves to do a job rather than to
trust someone else, no? Lately, I’ve found I have been trusting myself in a
certain area of my life rather than trusting God. Life just seems easier when I
feel like I’m in control! Yet God so
clearly says to commit my way to Him. He wants me to roll over on Him all my
worries and fears about this one specific area of life. (my “way”) He wants me
to leave it to Him and rest easy. I’ve tried to justify fears under the
pretense of being “being realistic” or “being careful”. But… they’re still
fears.
As long as my hands are so busy working to control
and manage that “area” of my life, they are too busy to hold His hand. As long
as my hands are clutching that “area”, they are too full to hold His hands. And
if my hands are full and busy, I’m too occupied to notice Him. He wants me to
hand over that “area” that is so precious to me. And with my hands now free, He
wants me to hold His hands tightly throughout the day.
If there is one drawback to being the eldest child, it’s
that I’m used to being in control! As I’m learning, I’m not in control of
life… God is. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going on a picnic with my little
sisters. (and Mandie may pack the basket however she likes. I will not tell her
how to do anything. I will try to not tell her how to do anything.) :)
