A Tuesday Afternoon Angel

Sometimes I am at a loss for words. Today, once again, I found myself plunged into overwhelming stillness at the way God works. 

I’m not very strong and that is no secret. I’m no superhero; I am very weak. I do not pretend to be anything but. Yet I find myself in a position where I feel I must be strong, I must demonstrate superhero qualities, and I must work to be as un-weak as possible. I’m going to teach in a Christian school by faith. Literally, I have no idea how the Lord will provide! My faith has been tested sorely. I am three months out and I’ve only had two people come alongside me and offer their support. If God doesn’t provide, I can’t make it! 

Vicious doubts, like angry bees, swarmed and caused me to fear. I cried out to my God, “Please! Show me! Please prove to me that You love me enough to care for me! You’ve called me, am I now to be left alone?” Days went by. I could feel my spirit churning and I knew the unsettled feeling of relying on myself. 

Walking parallel to my inner struggle was the outward frustrations of an iPod that was malfunctioning and the dilemma of finding a phone to use in Peru. (trivial disturbances in comparison to my brother's upcoming surgery, trying to find tickets back to Peru, etc) My dad and I were gathering information about different options, knowing full well that the money wasn’t readily available to replace an iPod or buy a phone. 

Consider all thus far as the introduction to the short story I will now share. Today, my dad and I met with a man named Tim in a commercial parking lot. Tim asked questions about our ministry, for my dad mentioned we were missionaries. After a few moments, he told us that God had instructed him to give us an iPhone. He also said God wanted us to trust Him with our finances. Tim asked if he could pray for us. I cried as he asked God to strengthen our hearts and to heal Abbey of her autoimmune disease. We never once told him about Abbey’s illness. I have no doubt he was God-sent.

My friends, God can be trusted. Though this might seem silly to you, it was the miracle my heart has been thirsting for. Though I’m weak, He loves me. Everything I’ve ever longed to see is written on His face.